Spending quality time

Spending quality time with loved ones works in hundred-folds. In today’s career centered world we often shove our family and loved one’s in the back seat. That’s the biggest mistake we can commit. Whereas they are the actual persons we should be holding close. They will act as our cushion, stress-buster and tonic when chips are really down.

Why should we always keep some quality time for our friends and loved ones? There are too many reasons to be shared.

When we are down, our job will not cheer us up. It may temporarily push the gloominess under the burden of work but the moment we will be free the gloominess will resurface. But friends and loved ones will make it disappear.

Loved ones are pillars in our life, pillars that hold it together and don’t cause any harmful side effects. If we think that pleasure bought by money can compensate for friends, then we are wrong. Friends can never be replaced by any thing else but family. But there are certain times when we need both – friend and family.

Therefore, we should be cautious about the time we are spending with our loved ones. And no matter how little it is, if we can make it good, then we will thank ourselves later.

Lover and soulmate

There is heaven and earth difference between them very often. We can always get ourselves a lover. It’s as easy as apple pie. No man or woman on earth is incapable of it. But only blessed beings get blessed with a soulmate.

Soulmate is a person who either shares our vision or accepts us with our vision as he accepts himself. Two souls either merge as one or stay side by side in perfect harmony.

Don’t want to go into details about lovers; everyone knows what a lover is. Even ten year olds can give a vague description of a lover.

Wise people don’t look for a soulmate in their mates, in place of that they just accept each other with all lacking and differences.

People use this term mostly without realizing its inner meaning and as a result are either happily ignorant through out their life or heart broken.

Love and mutual respect

Love never wants its own authority. Its own way or submission of its loved one. Love knows how to respect the identity and freedom of its mate, loved one.

Love can never survive without mutual respect. If both the mates don’t respect each other that relationship won’t last. No matter how deep the passion or love is it will ebb away unless they learn to respect and trust each other.

Mutual respect is foundation of every fruitful relationship. No one can deny this truth.

Before loving a person one should better check if he can respect and trust that person. If he can do these two then love will automatically follow and the relationship will stay. But if there is only love then it will fill up the hearts for a while then slowly ebb away.

meeks rule the world

Bible says meeks inherit the earth, I too believe it now. I have already shared my experience about the friend who left his own home but did not surrendered to evil. The second example is also a friend, this time girl friend, she is a very sweet natured lady, as a result she has been extremely exploited by her own siblings. She stayed single, a little by choice and a little due to circumstances. I have not seen weird people like her siblings.

They have saved a huge amount of money by using her as a free of cost maid.
It will seem as if they had it planned for years that they wont let her pursue any career, nor will they let her get married so they could utilize her toils free of cost. After exploiting her for years they have not been able to make her miserable, despite all the exploitation she has faced, she is gentle, god loving and happy go lucky person, whereas her siblings after usurping her rightful property are forever yearning for more money and live a miserable life. Full of bickering and clashes among themselves and others around them.

These two examples have taught me two things, first is money, no matter how little it is, if it is earned by honest means it gives the greatest satisfaction. Whereas people who earn money by stealing, cheating or other means, they may amass a wealth but they never enjoy it, because they do these things out of nature, and that restless nature never lets them enjoy any thing.

That is why I think people who know the true meaning of happiness don’t haunt for greener pastures, they stay content with their present.

Love and acceptance

When we truly love someone we accept him or her. With his whole being. Don’t try to change him unless its something harmful for him. Even then, the reason for changing is his welfare not our own sake.

I personally think that we can’t change anyone. I have seen too many lovers bitterly accusing each other just because they failed to change the other, or because they are too demanding.

Every human being has a right to be himself or herself. Love means accepting this simple truth. That our lover is not a doll handed out to us, a doll we can dress up the way we want. In that case he will have to be lifeless. Every living being has his own will and ways and he will act as per them. By not accepting we will only cause miseries.

Stress-busters

In today’s highly\ stressed life we all need some stress-busters from time to time. The mean colleagues, moron boss and grumpy fellow commuters, they often get on our nerves and make us wish that we could disappear from the scene of earth.

 

What are your favourite stress busters? Mine are songs, very light, feet tapping songs which simply snap me out of dullness or irritation. Like: Living La vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.

 

When I am in good mood I prefer songs with depth, like Rabindrasangeet or other songs which have deep inner meanings but when I am bored or stressed I hear things which shake my brain and blow the dust out.

 

Next stress-buster is a good, light movie or video clip. I keep a collection  of small clips, funny and cute. They too always snap me out of stress and sadness.

 

Then is a not very available thing. That is company of children. Small toddlers preferably, the ones who  have just started to explore the world on their own. They are the greatest fun to be around if you know how to handle them. They will always fill up their surrounding with a feeling of “well being”. If we can share their joy in mundane day to day things the life changes for atleast a short span.

 

Final one, even rarer is gardening. I love to care for plants, even though I am not a good gardener but taking care of plants relaxes me a lot.  Tilling the soil, de-weeding, sprinkling water on them to wash away the dust… every thing is soothing to me.

Real winners

Life some times throw some interesting questions at us, we often measure the winning of life’s battles by the mean of material wealth, but is it really so? I personally believe that the final treasure which we amass is in our soul, not in our home, and the former treasure is root of all the happiness in world.

 

I have a friend, he is a very honest guy, honest means those copy book honest, who believe in living an honest life and in protesting wrong things. He lives in a remote town, he tried to stop some illegal things being done in his town by some hot shots backed by political leaders. As a result, they tried to crush him down from every angle, they used to threat him, scandalize him, a couple of time physically abused him, in one word, they tried to make his life a perfect hell, he had to leave the town and settle outside west Bengal to earn is living. But still he protests when he sees some thing wrong, whereas his tormentors often boast that if some one dares to protest them his condition will be like him. But I personally feel that they know that they have lost the battle, their only small win is making that guy leave the town, their boasting is bleak and groundless, because they might have called themselves conquerors if that guy had bowed down before them and accepted their corrupted activities without protest.

 

I have a deep belief in the old saying, that honesty pays. In the long run, it’s the honest people who are happy and satisfied. They may get exploited, bulldozed, hounded, but the amount of satisfaction and inner peace they get is worth the trouble. And I also have started to believe another thing that honest people are most scandalized.

Supporting virtue

I recently read a beautiful quote:

 

Virtue is more persecuted by evil than it is cherished by good.

 

It brought back some old memory in my mind, When I first noted the line in the hit wham song Bad Boys .. “bad boys stay together, never sad boys” I observed with a little amusement that he was speaking the truth. Bad people always band together, whereas virtue suffers alone, because good human beings are so self complete that they often forget to lend their hands to others. As they face all storms of life on their own they presume that every one is capable of doing that.

 

Slowly with maturity I started to notice the almost universal mindset among good persons. They almost never flock together. We can see two or three or four together, but they never flock in huge numbers. Even wnen the virtue is being persecuted in the hands of evil?

 

That day I made up my mind that I will stand beside the virtue, clearly, even if at the cost of wrath of the evil. I will change the only person I can, myself.

 

Its been years since I  promised myself to do my bit when I see evil persecuting virtue, by standing by the virtuous firmly, because I am not much of a protesting type, so I lend my support silently but clearly. Till date I have not regretted my decision for a second.

A thief’s heart

I have read it in too many books and too many stories that I started to test its authenticity from quite an early childhood.

 

It did not took me long to realize its authenticity. A thief’s heart is rarely at rest. It is always afraid, partly because it is scared that the true owner will claim and win the stolen property and partly because he knows that it can be stolen from him too. Its not very tough to steal, any one can do it. People don’t steal because they don’t want to, or their conscience does not allow them do it.  Not because they are incapable of doing it. So his heart is always afraid.

 

Then comes the prick of conscience and the fear of punishment. Greed for more adds up with all these.  At the end if we see the stealing takes its price with interest.

 

Nothing is more peaceful and happy than an easy conscience. Its pockets may be empty but its heart and soul is full, brimming.

Happily childless

I dote after children. Have doted after them since my early childhood because they have brought only happiness in my life. I have once brought up a spitz puppy from one month to the day she died, eleven years later.

 

She brought out the maternal instinct in me and I realized how precious that feeling is, and I realized how precious children are to their parents.

 

Well, very frankly speaking I think I am too independent minded and self respecting to marry as per Indian traditional way and too shy to look for a husband myself so I stayed happily unattached.

 

There was a time, till my mid thirties I guess when I used to pine a little for a child of my own. My own born. Then when I notice the horrible speed at which the atrocity against children is shooting upwards I feel happy that I did not bring a child in this violent world which does not love its offspring. I know very well that I would have doted after him or her too much.

 

Since last five years or so I have thanked God quite a lot that she did not listened to my requests. If I ever long for a child I would rather attach myself to an orphanage.

Expressing love

You know which songs I hate most? The old Hindi movie songs which advocated that true love does not uses tongue or actions to express itself.

 

Come on! How will the other one understand it then? By magic or by thought-reading?

 

I personally believe and will always believe that if you love someone you should always let that person know clearly that you love that person and always will. Of course if you don’t want to lose him. Or else you may hide that feeling and see him walk away forever, thinking he does not means any thing to you.

 

I personally believe that unless the chances of meeting are impossible, any sincere person should express his feelings, and any sincere woman should give clear hints of her feelings to her lover and in case of others she too will act just like a man, express herself. In case of love I can certainly understand feminine shyness.

 

By mentioning the term “chances of meeting are impossible” I wanted to say some relationships just don’t or can’t work out, so its better to hide them, instead of expressing them and acting like a fool.

 

When I was a young girl I used to commute in school bus, there was a senior girl in the bus who had a huge crush on Ravi Shastri; she even used to dream of her. That innocent girl used to share her dreams with everyone who used to laugh at her behind her back. Well, she was a student of school so in her case it was obviously childish but we adults also sometimes fall in love with stars, in those cases I would suggest to not express them. Otherwise, one should express one’s feelings as long as its respectable and respected.

Love and religion

Love knows no chain. True love rises above every obstacle. It’s a bond of hearts and souls. And when two heart and soul are bond together they can overcome any obstacle.

But before starting such a journey one should first search one’s soul. Because difference of belief, faith is the greatest reason behind enmity of men. So we should think really well how much we will be able to respect the faith of our loved one, even if it is exactly opposite to ours. Or if their faith makes them do something which is disgusting in our eyes. Say for example, cow is a very holy animal in Hinduism but most of the other religions allow eating them. No orthodox Hindu will eat cow or eat in a utensil which has cooked cow. Well, this is the only example cropped in my mind.

Though I am not a very orthodox person but I wont eat cow and wont feel really comfortable to eat from a pot which has not been washed after being used to keep beef.

A belief with which we are born is next to impossible to shake off. But if two people love each other they can adjust. I have heard Muslim girls giving up beef or even non veg after marrying vegetarian families or muslim men not eating beef at home after marrying hindu girls. The main point is respect for each other’s faith I believe. In case of religion that faith has to be really firm.

They will have to think what they will do if all of a sudden their people of their religions start to riot with each other.